I recall doing an emotional abuse test online years ago when I was first accepting the idea that I was in an abusive relationship. With almost every question answered I was mouthing “ah-ha” to each one – it was dawning on me that I was being abused.
I’ve compiled a little questionnaire to help you quash any doubt if you think you’re being emotionally abused or not.
- Are your accomplishments ever ridiculed? YES/NO
- Can you think of occasions of being put down by your partner? YES/NO
- Do you often feel dismissed? YES/NO
- Do you often feel like you’re at risk of being humiliated by your partner? YES/NO
- Does your partner ‘tease’ you with upsetting remarks? YES/NO
- Are you often made to feel unworthy? YES/NO
- Do you require permission to do certain things? YES/NO
- Does your partner make you feel intimidated? YES/NO
- Do you find that you are to blame for your partner’s unhappiness? YES/NO
- Do you walk on eggshells, afraid of your partner’s reaction? YES/NO
- Does your partner make you feel shame or fear? YES/NO
- If you upset your partner, are you punished, i.e. ignored? YES/NO
- If you have a concern, are you afraid to confront your partner? YES/NO
- Are you frequently made to feel insecure and inferior? YES/NO
If you answered ‘yes’ to even one of the above, you are the victim of an emotional abuser.
Hopefully this shows you how broad the term is for such an array of scenarios, and how you don’t need to be shoved around physically or yelled at daily to be a victim of abuse. Just having ensured ONE of the above means that you’ve been subjected to emotional abuse, even if you didn’t recognise this at the time.
The more you answered ‘yes’, the further away you are from a healthy relationship. Harsh words, I know; but sugar-coating the issue won’t make it better or make it disappear.
Knowing is the first step towards change and healing.